She Was a Confederate Widow. He Was a Union Soldier.

Their Love Defied the Civil War

The true story of John Wilson & Delila Reaves.
(Image created by Microsoft Copilot, based on this story)

John Shafer Wilson was an Iowa farm boy when the Civil War split the country in 1861. Several months later, he crossed into Missouri and enlisted with the 21st Missouri Volunteer Infantry—a Union regiment. His unit joined the Army of the Tennessee, and John headed south with them. [1]

He would never return home.

But the war didn’t erase him. It rewrote his story—in a place he never expected, with a woman he never imagined.

John’s regiment, the 21st Missouri Volunteer Infantry, saw heavy action early in the war. They fought at the Battle of Shiloh (April 6–7, 1862), one of the bloodiest engagements in the Western Theater. They were also present at the Battle of Iuka (September 19, 1862), a strategic fight aimed at cutting off Confederate supply lines, and the Battle of Corinth (October 3–4, 1862), which helped secure Union control over northern Mississippi. [2]

From November 1862 to January 1863, the 21st participated in Grant’s Central Mississippi Railroad Campaign, a series of operations designed to disrupt Confederate movements and secure vital rail corridors.[2]

Then...a gap.

After months of hard marching and fierce engagements, the 21st Missouri settled into a prolonged period of garrison duty. From early 1863 through January 1864, they were posted across Kentucky and Tennessee—guarding rail lines, manning forts, and resting from the rigors of campaign life. But rest came with risk. Camp conditions, close quarters, and poor sanitation made disease a deadlier enemy than bullets. [2]

It was during this lull, while stationed in Memphis, that John Shafer Wilson contracted smallpox—a common and devastating illness among soldiers in static encampments. His recovery would change the course of his life.

Her name was Delila Christine Bonee Reaves—and she had already survived her own war. The daughter of John William Bonee and Nancy Thrailkill, Delila had recently lost her husband, John Thomas Reaves, a Confederate private in the 6th Tennessee Cavalry. She knew sorrow intimately. And in the hushed corridors of a Memphis military hospital, she chose healing. [1]

Delila was assigned to care for Union soldiers afflicted with smallpox—including John Shafer Wilson, burning with fever and far from home. It’s in that quiet space—between the stillness of convalescence and the echoes of loss—that something unexpected blossomed.

She nursed a man her husband might’ve faced across a battlefield—and found something stronger than grief, stronger than flags. Love doesn’t often bloom in wartime. But when it does, it defies everything. And against all odds, this Confederate widow and this Union soldier did just that.

Their romance must have blossomed in the quiet corners of the Memphis hospital, somewhere between fevered nights and whispered prayers. Delila had already lost one husband to war. John was a soldier far from home, fighting for breath. What began as care became connection—and what the war had torn apart, these two souls began to stitch back together.

We can only imagine the stir their relationship caused. A Southern woman nursing a Yankee soldier? In 1864, that wasn’t just unusual—it was unthinkable. Her family, steeped in Confederate loyalty, must have wrestled with the idea. But Delila chose compassion over convention. And John, still recovering, chose to stay.

They married on June 19, 1864, right in the middle of the war, in the home of Delila’s former father-in-law—a gesture that speaks volumes. For a Confederate patriarch to host the wedding of his daughter-in-law to a Union soldier? That’s not just tolerance—it’s respect.

John never returned to active service. Following his prolonged battle with smallpox, he was invalided out of the Army in December 1864—his war over not by bullet or battlefield, but by illness. But even as uniformed service ended, a new life began.

He and Delila chose to remain in Hardeman County, Tennessee, where the lines between past and future softened. They raised two children: their son, Cornelius “Neal” Wilson, born in 1869, and a young orphan girl, Sarah Ida Robinson, whom they adopted in 1880.

Reflection

In a war that split states, homes, and hearts, John and Delila stitched together a life built on compassion, endurance, and quiet defiance. Their love wasn’t loud. It didn’t fly flags or make speeches. But it endured—in sickness, in silence, and in the long Tennessee years that followed.

Some stories begin in battle. Theirs began in a hospital, and ended in a home. And somewhere in between, they proved that healing is possible—even when the wounds run deep.

This was one of the millions of forgotten stories from the Irrepressible Conflict.

Mac

═══ ⚔ 𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒔 ⚑ ═══

Works Cited

[1]  Schnurrer, Brenda. "John Shafer Wilson, Company I, 21st Regiment, Missouri Volunteer Infantry". Soldier Bios, 21st Missouri Volunteer Infantry Regiment site. Retrieved July 18, 2025. [Biographical information was attributed to Wilson's grandaughter, Nell.]

[2] Starr, N.D. and T.W. Holman (1899) The 21st Missouri Regiment Infantry Veteran Volunteers. Fort Madison, IA: Roberts and Roberts Printers. pp. 9-17.